“You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it’s hard. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don’t avoid the pain. You need it. It’s meant for you. Be still with it, let it come, let it go, let it leave you with the fuel you’ll burn to get your work done on this earth.” -Glennon Doyle
It’s so easy to avoid pain. Turn on the TV, scroll through social media, drink, smoke, eat, over-exercise… we all have our techniques for burying the discomfort, but unfortunately this only works for so long. The symptoms get louder. For me, I went from doctor to doctor trying to balance my anxiety, depression, and IBS, but all they offered were prescriptions, which only covered up the symptoms. They never asked me about my stress…
At the time I was in a toxic marriage with someone 18 years older than me, was trying my best to be a good step-mom to 2 young boys (one on the autism spectrum), and trying to go to college and work at the same time. The symptoms kept getting louder, until I didn’t even want to wake up anymore. I loved them all so much, so why did it hurt so badly?
Everyone I loved on the outside could diagnose the root cause of my issues as being the relationship (and stress that came with it), but I was too wrapped up in my codependency and idea of “loving someone so deeply” that I thought the pain was just a trade-off. That, sprinkled with some emotional manipulation, left me feeling trapped.
But when I finally got underneath the pain through hypnotherapy, I saw that my attachment issues stemmed from my daddy issues (dad moved away after parents split at 11), so until I healed the little girl who felt worthless because dad left, I couldn’t possibly see that my current partner was not in my highest good. I had to learn how to fill myself up, rather than seek external forces for my sense of worth. And once I did, the truth was so glaring that it didn’t take long for me to leave the marriage.
So lovie, what pain are you avoiding? I can tell you from experience that burying it only works for so long, and ends up creating more pain in the long run. If you’re ready to really work on it, a virtual hypnotherapy session is a great place to start. You’re not in this alone. 💛
When was the last time you paused to consciously appreciate your body? Think about how much this vessel has done for you. In its infinite wisdom and synchronicity, it has healed your wounds, digested your food, created life, given you the ability to think and move, and does everything in its power to adapt to your environment.
Our bodies deserve a trophy – or even better, your love and care.
And yet, in our ever-distracting and over-stimulating lives we rarely give our bodies this kind of attention until they start screaming at us. You throw out your back, develop infertility, autoimmunity, cancer, or maybe your digestion starts to struggle. It seems rare that we treat out bodies with care until they beg us for it in the form of ailment, uncomfortable symptom or disease. And then the Western solution is pharmaceuticals, surgery or other invasive treatment. It really requires looking outside of the allopathic model to get to the root of why our bodies are out of balance, and for most of us to do this we usually have to be pretty miserable.
We used to live off the land. We were in tune with the cycles of nature, and as a result, much more in tune with ourselves.
Today, it’s so easy to ignore and numb discomfort. Take a pill, smoke a joint, have a drink, turn on the TV, eat some sugar – take your pick, we all know the ways in which we ignore the messages our bodies give us. That headache, cold, rash, infection, bloating, gas, constipation, joint pain, puffy eyes, congestion, weight gain, anxiety and depression are all signs of something deeper that needs to be balanced. With the rapid advancement of technology we’ve forgotten how to listen to our bodies and properly nourish them. We eat convenience ‘foods’ lacking entirely of nutrition, overwork ourselves, and coast through life until we get that slap in the face to wake up.
I am SO grateful for the slaps I got. Yes, slaps- it took me a while to finally wake up. I numbed with Netflix, pot, sugar, social media, and alcohol for years before I fully honored what my body was trying to tell me in the form of chronic anxiety, fatigue and depression, IBS, acne, and insomnia – something was out of alignment. My mind convinced me that the marriage I was in was what I wanted, that the food I ate was okay because everyone else seems to tolerate it! But once I hit the brink of being suicidal, I decided that I would start listening to my heart – the only messenger we should listen to.
Our feelings are our truth. Your mind can tell you something else, but if your body doesn’t agree, it doesn’t matter how many series your binge or how much pot you smoke – your truth will only get louder.
In an effort to honor my body, I finally took responsibility and changed my diet from junk-filled ‘Franken-foods’ that are void of nutrition, to a 80% plant based, gluten-free and organic one. Within weeks my IBS calmed down, my digestion improved, and I started to feel more energy. What a shocker, right? What you eat DOES affect how you feel! I started detoxing my liver every quarter, using nutraceutical-grade supplements and after each detox felt more and more in tune with myself and my purpose on this planet. I became more self-aware and began paying attention to my emotions, realizing that the marriage I was in was creating anxiety and wasn’t in my highest good, so I left. And it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
This shit isn’t easy. It isn’t convenient. It isn’t always fun.
But is living with chronic fatigue, anxiety and depression easy, convenient or fun? Is bloating after every meal and feeling cramping and pain in my gut and joints easy, convenient or fun? Of course not. Giving up crappy food and substances was hard at first, but looking back, I would do it over and over again, because now I feel more alive and energetic than I ever have. I know how to feed my body properly and how to honor the feelings that it gives me to alert me if something I’m thinking or doing isn’t in alignment with my highest good.
What a gift my imbalances were. I thank them every day for forcing me to wake up. For teaching me how to love and respect my body with healthy food, thoughts and lifestyle. If I hadn’t felt really bad, I wouldn’t have learned the tools that will help me stay balanced and prevent disease for the rest of my life; that will help optimize the health of my future-children and hopefully not add to the ADD, diabetes, seizure and autism statistics that continue to skyrocket every year because of the toxic load parents pass down. Studies have found that over 250 neurotoxins and chemicals that cause cancer and brain-development issues are being passed down to children in utero. Heavy metals are being passed down through breast milk. The research is horrifying and yet we continue to feed our bodies these toxins through our food, household cleaning products, cosmetics and environment- because it’s ‘convenient’.
The only way to combat the toxic load of the 21stcentury is to detox and be responsible about the food and products you expose to your body.Chronic disease is no longer optional, it’s inevitable unless you make serious changes. This requires hard work and investment. It requires guidance and support to be done properly. There is so much conflicting information out there and unfortunately the medical community who should be guiding us to well-being is owned by the pharmaceutical industry who makes money when you are ill. They have no vested interest in you eating healthy or detoxing because then they lose a reliable customer. Think about it- the US is one of the only countries where it’s even LEGAL for pharmaceuticals to advertise. Why should YOU be the one to ask your doctor about this new drug (that has tons of negative side-effects but will magically make your ulcerative colitis symptoms go away and allow you to continue feeding your body garbage)? If your doctor cared about your health, wouldn’t they be the one to recommend this magical drug that covers up your symptoms?
It’s come down to a simple but difficult choice: you can either join the revolution of people taking their health and vitality into their own hands, or become a disease statistic because you don’t want to invest in something your insurance doesn’t pay for. This starts with education – start reading free resources online, watch free documentaries, ask more questions of your medical professionals. You don’t have to break the bank to empower and advocate yourself.
I’m 25 and have been eating organic and detoxing quarterly since I was 19, while waiting tables and driving for Uber. So don’t tell me you can’t afford it. It comes down to priorities. I don’t want my future kids and grandkids to struggle with gut and emotional imbalances because I didn’t want to do the work. Because it was “too expensive” and “too inconvenient”. If there’s a will, there’s a way, but first it starts with education. Knowledge is power, so start learnin’!
Netflix docs I highly recommend are Heal, What the Health, The Magic Pill, Forks Over Knives, and Cowspiracy – now you can Netflix and Learn!
