“You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it’s hard. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don’t avoid the pain. You need it. It’s meant for you. Be still with it, let it come, let it go, let it leave you with the fuel you’ll burn to get your work done on this earth.” -Glennon Doyle
It’s so easy to avoid pain. Turn on the TV, scroll through social media, drink, smoke, eat, over-exercise… we all have our techniques for burying the discomfort, but unfortunately this only works for so long. The symptoms get louder. For me, I went from doctor to doctor trying to balance my anxiety, depression, and IBS, but all they offered were prescriptions, which only covered up the symptoms. They never asked me about my stress…
At the time I was in a toxic marriage with someone 18 years older than me, was trying my best to be a good step-mom to 2 young boys (one on the autism spectrum), and trying to go to college and work at the same time. The symptoms kept getting louder, until I didn’t even want to wake up anymore. I loved them all so much, so why did it hurt so badly?
Everyone I loved on the outside could diagnose the root cause of my issues as being the relationship (and stress that came with it), but I was too wrapped up in my codependency and idea of “loving someone so deeply” that I thought the pain was just a trade-off. That, sprinkled with some emotional manipulation, left me feeling trapped.
But when I finally got underneath the pain through hypnotherapy, I saw that my attachment issues stemmed from my daddy issues (dad moved away after parents split at 11), so until I healed the little girl who felt worthless because dad left, I couldn’t possibly see that my current partner was not in my highest good. I had to learn how to fill myself up, rather than seek external forces for my sense of worth. And once I did, the truth was so glaring that it didn’t take long for me to leave the marriage.
So lovie, what pain are you avoiding? I can tell you from experience that burying it only works for so long, and ends up creating more pain in the long run. If you’re ready to really work on it, a virtual hypnotherapy session is a great place to start. You’re not in this alone. 💛